How To Find A Third Partner For A Threesome

Find a third for a threesome
Find a third for a threesome

As this will be brand new territory for you and your partner, it’s important to establish some rules on whoever it is that will be touching, kissing, and sleeping with both of you. If you don’t know where to turn, don’t sweat. We talked to sex expert and commentator Coleen Singer for some threesome tips on how to find a third for a threesome: how to approach it and where to find a third partner.

1. Visit a Swingers Club

As with anything new or a bit intimidating, consider starting slowly instead of diving head-first into this new world of three-partner play. If you’re still on the fence about having a threesome, whether, at a hotel room or your home, a good first step toward multi-partner play is visiting a swingers club. You may be surprised to know that you won’t have to go searching at underground haunts, nudist colonies, or secret, speakeasy-like establishments to find a sex party.

As Singer explains, they’re actually easier to find than you think: “In addition to actual sex parties held at private homes, many swingers clubs also have informal social gatherings at local pubs or restaurants for those interested in the lifestyle but who would like to just test out the waters a bit first in a comfortable way,” she says.

It’s important to do your research and not go to a place that doesn’t have great reviews. Once you’re accepted here, you’ll feel more comfortable exploring fantasies and meeting new friends who share your same kinks.

2. Look Online

While swingers’ clubs vary in price and can be affordable, an escort service will feel like an investment. If you’re not quite financially able to throw a few cool thousands towards an evening of sex, Singer says to try shopping online — but with a lot of caution.

Googling “threesome dating site” will give you a big variety of results, and to make it easier to weed out the duds from the good experiences, Singer has a few tips. “The main thing to remember when it comes to any dating site is the reputation they have for fair and honest billing practices and iron-clad privacy protection (remember Ashley Madison, anyone?),” she warns.

With that in mind, here are some of the best hookup sites to look into:

AdultFriendFinder – Best For Couples

Adultfriendfinder.com
Adultfriendfinder.com

Another sexy choice for your threesome partner search is this appropriately named website. Also a trusted destination by the community you’re seeking to join, you can browse through profiles, find folks who have a shared X-rated interest and much more. With an easy-to-navigate platform, you won’t have to waste too much time searching for what you need, but instead, you’ll be able to source and spot those who are looking for what you’re looking for and get the conversation revved up ASAP. Much like its less-intense pal site above, this website might be better suited for couples. To truly ensure that you both have your needs met, make use of their large database; it will add a new layer of eroticism to your relationship.

3. Make It Happen

Once you’ve found the site that works best for you and your partner, how do you get started? Here are some basic steps to turn up the heat and find that threesome you’re both dreaming about.

Step 1: Set Up A Profile
Depending on what you want out of the experience or what you mutually agree upon as a couple, you’ll have to decide if you want to set up a couple of profile or an individual one. The perk of an online dating profile made for two is that the threesome partner can easily figure out if they’re attracted to what you mutually offer, without having to be introduced to another half at a later date.

Step 2: Pick The Right Photos
Into S&M? Or like foot play? How about roleplay? Whatever your shared kink, make sure your photos illustrate what gets you both turned on and ready to roll around. Though it’s okay to have a few individual shots – especially ones that show off your bodies — it’s also a smart idea to have couple images, so a possible joiner can see how you interact with one another.

Step 3: Send A Message
Once you find someone you both find attractive, it’s time to get the conversation moving! Your opening message shouldn’t be too strong or subtle, but a perfect balance in between. Most online dating experts suggest beginning with a statement — preferably one that’s complimentary or comments on a shared interest – and ending with a question, to provoke sexy banter.

Nia Moran

A writer expert for Medium, Flipboard and Blogspot. Living in Michigan.

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